lickety jackblog

onion moles have infiltrated and exposed my plans for culinary masterhood

far before the Bengali Trolley and the Scotch Crotch, there was "the Feedbag", my ingenious restaurant idea in which patrons hopped into saddles affixed to hitching posts to eat feedbags of food in single file.


New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

clearly, no secret is safe with you people.

Labels: food

posted by the cold cowboy @ 2:20 PM 0 Comments

put cloth on, hippie. and get a car.

BERKELEY - A nude woman running in and out of traffic lanes on the I-80 freeway near Gilman Street disrupted traffic early this morning and required the California Highway Patrol, the Berkeley Police and ultimately, the Berkeley Fire Department to handle the situation.

Labels: california

posted by the cold cowboy @ 1:58 PM 0 Comments

everybody's talkin' at me

dear angelina's dad: you're insane.

posted by the cold cowboy @ 3:05 PM 1 Comments

sweet jesus

posted by the cold cowboy @ 3:05 PM 1 Comments

We Shall Rise Again

I can't wait until I get to take pot-shots at all of your yankee asses.

posted by ayatollah assahola @ 12:57 PM 6 Comments

a hearty welcome

to stridewideman's side project.

Labels: cock museums

posted by the cold cowboy @ 12:24 PM 0 Comments

Jackblog Contest!

As near as I can figure, this website cannot be interacted with.

The Contest:

Jackblog entrants must describe the cryptic workings and meaning of scotchcrotch.com in 20 words or less. The most wildly entertaining guess will receive a special prize from me. Please submit your answers via the comments section.

Get those noodles noodling!

And no using the info email address at the bottom of the page! That's no fun at all.

*Also, the website does have audio, but it's SFW, as long as your bosses don't care about you listening to the serenades of fowl on a website called scotchcrotch.com

Labels: contests, crotches, cults, dan sucks.

posted by dan @ 11:20 AM 6 Comments

clown in orange pants, candycane socks, loves burgers, sodomites

in case you wonder what that is, it is god's word for homosexuals.

wonkette has been following this story for a while. enjoy the full glory of the boycott mcdonalds comment section here.

Labels: food, gays, religion

posted by the cold cowboy @ 6:10 PM 0 Comments

sorry candycane

them shits can't be up here - i work now.

posted by the cold cowboy @ 3:20 PM 9 Comments

Juggalo Funeral

seeing cowboy's post made me wonder if this video had ever been on here. i wish i could take credit for this, but I was turned onto it by sammy. For those of you who have seen it, you know its horror. For those who haven't, try not to vomit on yourself.

posted by ayatollah assahola @ 5:18 PM 1 Comments

juggalo is family

"You got a Juggalo friend, he's got your back for any circumstances. This is family for life."
- bay area juggalo(e?)s profiled in the chronicle. play the sound clip to hear real live juggaloes, just jug-a-lug-a-loing about what it means to be juggaloes.

apparently the dark carnival is little more than freemasonry in face paint.

Labels: cults, music

posted by the cold cowboy @ 12:04 PM 1 Comments

the return of crazy crab

tonight, baseball's first and most glorious "anti-mascot", Crazy Crab, returns to the field. debuted in 1984, Crazy Crab was sent out on the field at home games purely to be heckled and mocked by adoring fans of the terrible giants.

according to archivists and mascot scholars, Crazy Crab ran the bases sideways to the tune of "Chariots of Fire" at each home game, and was tormented by great choirs of derision and peltings of all manner of stadium objects, from fans and players alike.

proving that grassroots movements do indeed work, "rehab the crab" announced today that the crab will be present at AT&T Park. let the abuse begin!

update:

Labels: baseball, furries

posted by the cold cowboy @ 3:19 PM 3 Comments

jack chick meets bruce goldflies

brent rinehart is an oaklahoma county, OK commissioner, an evangelical, and apparently, an amateur cartoonist. he sent this to his constituents.

this may be the most important thing you gaze upon in sheer awe this july. i encourage you to read everything. twice. say what you will about the man, he draws some sexy gay dudes.

Labels: religion

posted by the cold cowboy @ 12:52 PM 1 Comments

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/11/testicle-talc.html
hmmmm....could this be the new skool challenge to Gold Bond?
But then, the real question is....'bat-wing'?

posted by stridewideman @ 8:37 PM 0 Comments

oh barry!

what would the choom gang think?

posted by sean @ 9:17 PM 4 Comments

the terror

who knew i'd have to "work" at my new "job". and who knew my home "internet access" would take "forever" to "set up". any and all site redesigns will be a ways off. and really, what incentive do i have for souping this bad boy up until you schlongs start using it?

posted by the cold cowboy @ 4:37 PM 2 Comments