hey you liberal-yuppie-elitist yanks,
While you're busy banning your foie gras, us Southern boys know what it means to really ban something. Up on the chopping block this month: Abortions.
The
article is definitely worth reading. But to sum up, if she ain't dying, she needs to take her ass to Texas or else get ready to squirt one out.
So, if you have any extra coat hangers or dustbusters, send them on down here. This Doctor of Love has some house calls to make. And for those of you keeping score at home, cockfighting looks like it's going to make it through for another year.
remember what jean schmidt said a few months ago?
"Yesterday I stood at Arlington National Cemetery attending the funeral of a young Marine in my district. He believed in what we were doing is the right thing and had the courage to lay his life on the line to do it. A few minutes ago I received a call from Colonel Danny Bubp, Ohio Representative from the 88th district in the House of Representatives. He asked me to send Congress a message: Stay the course. He also asked me to send Congressman Murtha a message, that cowards cut and run, Marines never do. Danny and the rest of America and the world want the assurance from this body—that we will see this through."she got booed for that, and rightly so. but now there's
this, which is laughable, considering its coming on the heels of a fucking civil war, and considering it probably has everything to do with bush's 32% approval rating.
and they called john kerry a flip-flopper? what a disgrace this administration is.
Labels: mean jean
Need a gift idea?If anybody's looking for a gift for the Cold Cowboy, or perhaps the Snack Champion, might I suggest a little tome that recently crossed my desk entitled
The Cultural Politics of Food and Eating: a Reader. Eds. James Watson and Melissa Caldwell. Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing, 2005. ISBN: 0-631-23093-9.
Library of Congress subject headers include: Food habits - political aspects, food habits - economic aspects, food preferences and food industry/trade.
Suprisingly, not a single contributor is listed as a "Professor of Food". Go figure.
MIT used to have a department of Food Science. Sadly, it is defunct. Nevertheless, it's legacy remains in the form of Building 16--otherwise known as the Dorrance Building--named for Prof. Dorrance, perhaps the most gifted food scientist of his day.
I don't know his first name. Food Science, it seems, is a thankless labor.
End Food Post.
Labels: food, science
REGARDING WESTERNI know we've discussed this, and that at least a few of you might be interested in trying to lend your weight to the kids who are still at Western. Don't throw the baby (program) out with the bath water (faculty), right?
Anyway, I just got this email from Marta:
Hey guys,
As you may or may not know, the university is seriously considering a proposal to dismantle the current Western program, creating in its place a "Western Honors College." There has been a significant alum movement to get Miami to change its mind. If you want to get involved, the first step is to sign up for the Alumni listserve. (See the e-mail below.) Additionally, on Friday I'm going to Western to participate in a Dean's Advisory Council meeting. We're going to be brainstorming ways to save our school. If you have any suggestions, or have questions, please let me know.
Warm regards,
NAME
>From: NAME
>Reply-To: Alumni of the Western College Program at Miami University
>To: EMAIL
>Subject: [WESTERNA] about the WCP--please forward to all alums
>Date: Fri, 21 Apr 2006 15:55:44 -0400
Dear Westerna,
It has come to my attention that the only place which has every alum's info is Miami's alumni association, which would be unwilling to release all of those email WCP graduates' addresses for us to alert them to what's going on with the WCP. In light of this, please forward the following message to all alums you know and ask them to forward that on to any other WCP alums they know:
>>Dear Western Alumna/Alumnus,
Miami University's current administration is seriously considering the dismantling of the Western College Program. To be updated with what's going on, please sign up for the WESTERNA listserv at the following site:
http://listserv.muohio.edu/scripts/wa.exe?SUBED1=westerna&A=1
You can sign up for a daily digest version (just one email with all messages of the day) or a message-by-message version (who knows how many emails you'll get per day, but you'll be updated moment-by-moment).
To find out more, please go to the following website:
http://wiki.wcp.muohio.edu
And add your information in chronological order under the "Alumni" tab.
Thank you!
NAME
Class of 2007
PS: NAME, senior program assistant for the WCP, needs your contact information so that the WCP administration can contact you guys more directly in emergency situations in the future (seeing as how the Miami Alumni Association would be unwilling to release this private information to us). Please email her at EMAIL.
FDA Dismisses Medical Benefit from Marijuana"Unfortunately, this is yet another example of the F.D.A. making pronouncements that seem to be driven more by ideology than by science," said Dr. Jerry Avorn, a medical professor at Harvard Medical School.
...
Dr. Daniele Piomelli, a professor of pharmacology at the University of California, Irvine, said he had "never met a scientist who would say that marijuana is either dangerous or useless."
-
The TimesLabels: california
Washington Nationals Consider Known Madman for Ownership
To any and all of you who live in the DC area, or might someday soon visit the old ballpark for a Nationals game: Beware the meat. Depending on who ends up buying this team, you'll never know where it
came from.
Boston Joggle Showdown '06
In the spirit of our juggleblog sensibilities, I thought I'd let you all know that the greatest Joggling (juggling while running) showdown of all time occurred at the Boston Marathon this very day (or yesterday, I guess. I know one of you assholes would've called me on it). For the first time ever two jogglers ran a marathon head-to-head. Incidentally, the two jogglers in question are Zach Warren, Harvard Divinity School student and current Joggle-marathon record holder, and Michal Kapral, Toronto native and the man Warren edged out by 41 seconds to claim the record. This shit is fucking intense.
According to Joggling rules neither man can take more than 2 strides while not juggling. If a ball is dropped, the joggler must return to the point at which he flubbed and restart. According to Kapral, "it really is poetry."
No word on who won. I'm keeping my eyes peeled for news.
Yesterday, I was a part of a ceremony honoring Gov. Swarznegger for his leadership in creating a million solar roofs in California, which was the campaign my organization worked on last summer.Observations:
1. The Governor has an amazing crest of hair and what looks to be a small fashion mullet going on.
2. He is slicker than goose shit.
3. The Terminator has latched on to environmentalism as a methodology of boosting his polls.
4. His head and hands are huge, with the hands in particular being like slabs of meat. When shaken, seem to almost be stiff. Perhaps the governor is ossified...
Watching the governor's political operatives lead the media around was a good time. Even some of our activists and students came out of it thinking the governor was 'kind', and a 'nice guy'.
Lessons:
1. Make-up works.
2. Austrians are hilarious.
Labels: california, gubernatorial dongs
"It's not just a tradition. It's a right," says a state senator down here. What's he talking about fellas?
Freedom from unlawful search and seizures?
The right to live in a home without toxic mold and with a roof?
Muff-diving?
No, no. Instead, Sen. Nick Gautreaux is referencing the one true La. past-time: cockfighting.
There's talk of a ban, and the cockfighting lobby is up in arms. I just hope it isn't outlawed by the time I graduate. I got some big plans with silly-string, petroleum jelly, and bird feed. Thoughts?
Where have all the jackbloggers gone?
for dan, and the other rockstars.
drinking rockstar will make you immune to every disease known to humanity. milk thistle has been used to treat liver ailments for centuries. cancers, alcohol related illness, and viral(hep c) liver diseases are no match for milk thistle. if you ingest a "death cap" mushroom, chug a rockstar and you won't die. but, look out for diarrhea, stomach cramps, headache, anorexia(?), vomiting, and oh yeah, impotence. and, of course there's always the spectre of anaphylactic shock, if you're seriously allergic. eleutherococcus senticosus (siberian ginseng) won't treat illness, but may boost the immune system. it's been used to treat menopausal sypmotoms, geriatric debility, and stress. it replenishes depleted adrenal supplies faster than normal ginseng. it's also an anti-inflammatory agent. if you decide to try your hand at bathtub uranium enrichment, a handy supply of siberian ginseng can be used to treat radiation sickness. but, almost all the ingredients in rockstar will raise your blood pressure. i don't think that's news, though. chug-a-lug, fellows.
I like
this.
Christians, to me, are at their most endearing when they really go balls out with their maniacal and ancient hatreds. Time to get effing crazy for jesus, already.
It's why I like the robes so much and why I wish they still all spoke Latin. Go for the gusto, brothers and sisters.
Labels: religion
When I lived in the Bahamas, a Conch fisherman told me raw conch would "make ya cock hard!" Do you think that's from all the taurine? How many boners do you get after drinking a jagerbomb? I get at least 4 in a row...
ATTENTION ALL INTELLIGENT PEOPLE
YOU MUST BUY THE
GHOSTFACE DOLL AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.
MY HEAD JUST EXPLODED LOOK AT THE FEATURES:
* Real 14 karat gold chain
* Real GFK Robe
* Gold Chalice with Swarovski crystals
* Each doll will include a Ghostface Killah Doll mixtape dy a world-famous DJ tba
* Real 14 karat gold avenging eagle accessory (extra)
* Each collector will have a 1 in 500 chance to spend a day with Ghostface Killah himself
* Each Doll will come in a limited edition gold sealed box
* Ghostface Killah is fully involved in all aspects of the project from manufacturing to promotion
* Each Doll speaks original recordings of Ghostface Killah catch-phrases
IN CASE YOU MISSED THAT LAST ONE:
* Each Doll speaks original recordings of Ghostface Killah catch-phrasesLabels: music
"What I do is beyond what they understand."Ohio chiropractor aligns bones
with his MIND!
...also a write up in the washington post...Labels: ohio
This seems like the perfect time to discuss
reborns. Is anyone interested in
owning an inert waxy, cadaverous semblance of a human baby? Perhaps you've always wanted to manufacture one in your apartment, but never knew where to find
proper supplies. Maybe you need some company at breakfast. "Just a warm slice of throbbing neurotic posthumanity and some coffee, thanks, sure."
On Drinking Cat BileDue to the prevalence of
TAURINE use among Jackblog contributers (including, among others, the Cold Cowboy, Tron, Duncan, Dan and myself), I decided to conduct a miniature research experiment. Here are my findings:
The word taurine comes from the latin, meaning bull, as it was first isolated from ox bile (where it is found in high concentration) in 1827. Taurine has been shown to be
essential in certain aspects of mammalian development. Mostly, it is important for the conjugation of bile, which, in turn, has a significant effect on the solubility of cholesterol (clinical tests show that regular taurine intake significantly decreases cholesterol in the 18 to 29 year-old demographic).
Taurine is the second most abundant amino acid found in muscle tissue.
In clinical tests, when taurine was administered to persons undergoing alcohol withdrawal, said persons experienced significantly
fewer psychotic episodes (though what was not reported is that said DudeShauns were also potentially undergoing vodka/Redbull withdrawal).
One time the Cold Cowboy told me that plums (one of the most delicious fruits available on earth) tasted like bile. The Cold Cowboy drinks bile daily, and enjoys it.
Taurine is an
essential dietary nutrient for cats because the rate of synthesis under most conditions is less than the rate of loss from the body. Cats which are fed a taurine deficient diet may become blind.
Some foods with very high taurine content include (in descending order): Conch (strombus gigas), inkfish, blood clam, crucial carp, hairtail fish and cat (felis silvestris catus).
Taurine concentration in milk of different species (in descending order): Gerbil, cat, dog, rhesus monkey, human, chimpanzee, rat, sheep, rabbit, cow, horse, guinea pig.
Taurine has been used as a
mild sedative in treating epileptic patients.
Although Red Bull claimed (in 2004, when it was successfully
banned in France and Denmark) that taurine "kick-starts the body's metabolism," I personally could find nothing to suggest that taurine has any stimulant properties. The nearest equivalent suggested only that it may help your body to "process" caffeine more quickly. Indeed, it appears that very little research has been done on the mental effects of taurine. Likely, energy drink companies are merely using their (synthetic) taurine, which certainly doesn't appear to be harmful, as a marketing tool. In summary, it seems apparent that Red Bull successfully co-opted
ox bile in order to one-up caffeine with the introduction of a "new" supposed stimulant (indeed, went so far as to name its product thus so, complete with bull reference) so they could sell more soft drinks.
It appears that at least
Erowid agrees with me.
As any good urban-minded citizen knows, the key to healthy urbanization is
density density density. Higher density encourages small business, community, safety and pedestrian-friendly living, and discourages automobile use (by limiting parking availability, and providing adequate commercial needs within walking distance). It helps public transportation for the same reasons.
In Chicago, there are still many zoning areas which mandate up to 3 parking spaces per residence. It's a problem seen in my own neighborhood when beautiful old grey stones with backyards and gardens are suddenly converted to concrete slabs in order to meet minimum parking requirements. If any of you have visited Dong Hardbody in Chicago, you know that his backyard is vastly preferable to that of his neighbors to the north, which might as well we a goddamned prison yard with its gravel base and razor wire fences. Talk about giving the impression of a dangerous neighborhood.
Not every city is so ass-backwards, however. Not everyone is looking to chop their legs from beneath them (urbanely speaking) by allowing the suburbanization of their cities by way of giant megastores with 15 acre parking lots, and encouraging (rather than discouraging) proliferation of car traffic.
London, for instance, continues
on the right track. What badasses! This needs to happen in Chicago.
the lickety jackblog management would like to wish a most bodacious, unlonesome mutherfucking birthday to
swisch mutherfucking swisch, that bearded, hairy-nipped beacon of light which burst forth upon our fair earth like a technicolor rainbow twenty-five years ago today.
and whether it be pirate's booty, cheez-it or wasabi pea, let each of us engage in a hearty snacking in honor of kentucky's grandest snack champ this day.
"he'll steal your car and your anal virginity"sarge hipped me to
gangsta fag, which is exactly what it sounds like.
hey, it had to happen sometime.
Labels: gays
