my computer broke so im posting this from my friends house. i'll be brief.
last night in a bar i was drinking scotch and talking to a small wasted japanese man. he kept begging me to introduce him to my friend carli. he told me she was just his type except for the earrings. he said she should lose the earrings. something about your body having to be pure or something. we talked a lot about war. then he showed me hisid card. turns out this small, wasted beyond belief salary man type was actually the chief of staff for the japanese self-defense force.
five minutes later i told him japan should rebuild the empire and tell america to fuck off just to see his reaction. he kinda backed up for a second and before he could say anything 3 cross dressers came in wearing 5 o'clock shadows, wigs, string bikinis and wielding "complete with sound and illumation" light sabres.
buffalo ravage baltimore!
link
check out collaborative lost-mail-art in the hall.o.a...
Two of my co-workers and I had our photos taken a month ago for the firm's intranet website, which exists so that the attorneys know who to yell at when they storm out of their offices to vent. After waiting two weeks for the IT dudes to post the photos on the site, I sent my coworkers a whiny email whose subject line ran: "What the hell is with this donkey scotch?!"
My coworker, Amara, sent me back an email saying: "Donkey scotch for real! You know we all keep checking. By the way I have never heard donkey scotch before but it's funny!!"
...As an empirical examination, just thought you might like to know of the inherent and undeniable humor in said snavelyism, with or without context.
when i start to miss sarge all i have to do is go
here and refresh indefinitely.
Frog steed?
mission man site updated.
im sure most of you know because you subscribe to the newsletter but you should really check out the new 'about me' section. gary layed it down for everyone and after reading that i seriously have a new found respect for the guy.
Labels: mission man
today's official statistic of note:Top Search Strings resulting in a Jackblog hit:1 :
how to get a guy to ask you out2 :
jackbarn3 :
literary hackdom4 :
worship master's sweaty socks5 :
ask a guy to prom6 :
jackblog7 :
musty peanut 8 :
peanutguy 9 :
serenityLabels: ralphnsocks
for those who give a dropping: ralph and socks have updated
the brothsea.
Labels: ralphnsocks
Lately, I've been thinking that the U.S. should intervene militarily in Darfur. however, i wonder if it makes me and my fellow liberals hypocritical, because many of us were so vocal in our opposition to the war in Iraq, a similar human rights disaster. I realize there are significant differences (international support for Darfur, presumably the administration wouldn't have to make some shit up for going in, etc.). But I also wonder if I would feel differently if Bush were a Democrat. Bush's rhetoric is surprisingly similar to that of Kennedy's, a minor god in the Democratic Party. So what's the difference? is it a sense of being contrarian to the Republican or is it something more? my personal feeling is that most of the difference lies in the fact that bush and co. are a bunch of deceptive fucks. thoughts?
The Virgin Mary was discovered in a salt stain on an underpass less than a mile from my house, about 30 feet from the regular bedroom of 3 homeless dudes (whose shopping carts are still there, but they seem to have disappeared). My roommate and I rode over there at midnight and there were still 300 people fawning.
Labels: religion
Pop Quiz Time, Jackbloggers:
(1) What National Socialist Movement was the new Pope a former member of?
If you said
Hitler Youth, you win the gold star for the day.
hey cowboy,
i remeber a little bet of ours over a football game, which I believe I won. where's my money? don't make me call jules.
can anyone tell me if
this is real or not?
p.s. -- dan prazer says: "it's like a snuff film. i can't turn away, but i don't wanna see it either."
help memy job is murdering my soul
Let me tell you about the Wall Street Journal: fuck the Wall Street Journal.
Fuck the Wall Street Journal and all of its bogus "facts."
However, it
is completely true that a
two-bedroom apartment* in a "nice" area of Chicago goes for $2300... if by nice you mean living at the top of the fucking Hancock building.
*See the chart at the bottom.
Let's play guess the sexual offender.
I'll give you one guess.
mission man featured in miami studentjournalism at its finest:
"His name of Mission Man originated in 1996 from his desire to show he was trying to accomplish something through a quest or mission."
Labels: mission man
kraftwerk will be rocking DC on May 30th & 31st. Sgt. Collins will be in town. so will you if you're smart. i shall provide the sausages and lederhosen.
Labels: music
don't know if any of you heard about this, but mitch hedberg
died yesterday.
