What if I were to tell you that there was a movie coming out about 10 Death Row inmates selected to participate in a reality t.v. show where they kill each other over the course of 30 hours?
Now what if I were to tell you that it starred Vinnie Jones (the big guy from Lock, Stock, Snatch, and the Mean Machine) and
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN?I believe you might say, "Ayatollah, this wonderful masterpiece must be called 'Heaven'." To which I would reply, "Well, close, but the producers have decided to call it 'The Condemned'."
Check out the trailer
here.
Labels: film
coach cowboy's undefeated seasoni've been moonlighting as the intramural basketball coach for the past two months. the following email was issued to the entire school and we're expecting a huge turnout, including the dean. if you're in the neighborhood, be there. as i promised my team, i will be wearing a suit on the sidelines of Crisler Arena when we battle the cellular & molecular biologists for the graduate intramural basketball trophy.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the F0rd School,
Please join us for an historic moment in F0rd School history this coming Monday, February 19th, 8:30pm at Crisler Arena, where, beneath its sparkling lights our very own Gerald R. Superstars will compete for the intramural championship and the love and admiration of all Americans, basketballers and freedom-lovers.
Through the annals of sports history, seldom has there been a Cinderella story so moving, so triumphant.
Amidst a crowded field of graduate B-league intramural championship hopefuls one rag-tag team of policy students came together under an unalienable bond of sportspersonship, and found that their first order conditions of basketball were set to zero and that their second order conditions were, indeed, negative.
The Gerald R. Superstars were optimized for victory.
On January 17th, with little more than a dream and uncanny quantitative wisdom, 17 brave men and women took to the courts to fight for great justice and the Fordian way. Let their names be heard:
{redacted}
They defeated the nuclear engineers, the feared School 0f Information "Dewey Decimators", and some other guys who were huge jerks and deserved to lose, and were vaunted to the glistening rafters of the graduate-faculty-staff B league A bracket.
They came from behind against the fierce Med School "M1 Show5toppers" to triumph in the final seconds. And last night, against the Scho0l of Public Health's creatively-titled "SPH" squad, they faced their most fearsome opponents yet. But a savage and penalty-ridden full court press would not stop the mighty Geralds. In the closing seconds of overtime, the roof of the IMSB opened, the light of the heavens shone through, and {JF}'s 3-point shot soared, as if nestled in some unseen and divinely-charged chariot shepherded by elegant clydesdales of victory, into the basket for the win.
And so it is with great pleasure and steadfast resolve that General Manager {EBD}, Team Captain {DG} and Head Coach {The Cold Cowboy} cordially invite you, F0rd School associate, to cheer your team on to victory on Monday.
With your support we have no doubt that we will end our wire-to-wire undefeated season victorious.
See you on Monday,
Manager D, Captain G and Coach {Cowboy}
...photo & or video montage of monday's event to follow.
lickety jackblog: we ask the tough questions. Governor Vilsack:
how will the pooh costume play in the primaries?
Labels: gubernatorial dongs
reason 183890218 why google ads on gmail are awesome:
i got an email from crit martin today and the google ad on the sidebar was for "Latex-Foam LARP Props". after i stopped laughing, i clicked on the link and looked at all the totally awesome weapons.
i guess all that remains is to ask: who wants to go halfsies on a war ax?
fuck baseball season -- LARP season runs year round!
Labels: LARP, nerdcore
Its beginning to look a lot like baseball...
The Cincinnati Reds and RHP Aaron Harang have agreed to terms on a 4-year contract through the 2010 season with a club option for 2011. Harang led the National League in strikeouts (216) and complete games (6) last year.
Thoughts?
Labels: redlegs
i'm in a class on public budgeting and the vietnamese student in front of me is wikipediaing andre the giant. just before, he did iron sheik.
grad school is awesome.
Labels: wrestling
Has anyone else seen the ad that VoteVets is running? If not, click
here.
Is it just me or is the assertion that if you support the escalation, you don't support the troops just as ridiculous as the notion that by not supporting the above, you don't support the soldiers either?
Be fair you elitist, yankee scum.
Update: Ted HaggardA few months ago a jackblogger posted a story about
Mr. Ted Haggard--at the time the leader of the National Association of Evangelicals--and his alleged adventures in man-land.
This just in:
the jury has returned a verdict.
And the survey says:
"Completely Heterosexual"!
Phew. Close call for the Evangelicals. You can all breathe easy again.
(The last link is to an NYT article, so I apologize if it doesn't work. Long story short, a couple of Ted's buddies declared that he's not gay but did recommend that he relocate to the secular domain. Probably a solid idea.)
Labels: gays
1/31/07: Never Forget
Labels: nerdcore
NEWS ALERT: Your friends in the terrorized city of Boston are OK!You will no doubt be happy to learn that, in an improbable turn of events, 100% of your friends in Boston survived the coordinated terror attack aimed at The Olde Towne early this morning.
In a move that is at once infuriating and hilarious, Boston damn near shut down today due to the placement of as many as 38 LED displays showing an image of a Mooninite from Comedy Central's "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" shooting the bird. The displays--part of an "outdoor" or "guerilla" advertising campaign, depending on where you read it--were found at several locations in Somerville, Cambridge and Boston (most notably at the Tufts-New England Medical Center, the Boston Univ. and Longfellow Bridges and under a span of Interstate 93). They were quickly identified as possible bomb threats by city officials. Then the shit hit the fan. Luckily I was at work by the time this happened, but my understanding is that I-93 was a parking lot all day and that the MBTA briefly shut down service on the Red Line.
Because of 38 Mooninites...all shooting the bird.
Our new Governor's gruff but fair response to this malicious attack (courtesy of the
Boston Herald):
"I think we are all relieved that the devices found so far have proven to be hoax devices," said Gov. Deval Patrick. "I think we feel at this point that there is not a reason for anyone to panic, but there are reasons for us to be vigilante [sic? I hope? We're not considering vigilante justice, are we? Hell yeah Beantown! Call in the
Punisher!]"
Well, it's good to know we shouldn't panic. Those Moonintes sure do look like cheeky bastards, though...
(photos courtesy of the
Boston Herald and
Boston Globe respectively).
Labels: nerdcore
