NEWS ALERT: Your friends in the terrorized city of Boston are OK!
You will no doubt be happy to learn that, in an improbable turn of events, 100% of your friends in Boston survived the coordinated terror attack aimed at The Olde Towne early this morning.
In a move that is at once infuriating and hilarious, Boston damn near shut down today due to the placement of as many as 38 LED displays showing an image of a Mooninite from Comedy Central's "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" shooting the bird. The displays--part of an "outdoor" or "guerilla" advertising campaign, depending on where you read it--were found at several locations in Somerville, Cambridge and Boston (most notably at the Tufts-New England Medical Center, the Boston Univ. and Longfellow Bridges and under a span of Interstate 93). They were quickly identified as possible bomb threats by city officials. Then the shit hit the fan. Luckily I was at work by the time this happened, but my understanding is that I-93 was a parking lot all day and that the MBTA briefly shut down service on the Red Line.
Because of 38 Mooninites...all shooting the bird.
Our new Governor's gruff but fair response to this malicious attack (courtesy of the Boston Herald):
"I think we are all relieved that the devices found so far have proven to be hoax devices," said Gov. Deval Patrick. "I think we feel at this point that there is not a reason for anyone to panic, but there are reasons for us to be vigilante [sic? I hope? We're not considering vigilante justice, are we? Hell yeah Beantown! Call in the Punisher!]"
Well, it's good to know we shouldn't panic. Those Moonintes sure do look like cheeky bastards, though...
(photos courtesy of the Boston Herald and Boston Globe respectively).
Labels: nerdcore
posted by dan @ 12:22 AM
9 Comments:
This experience has taught the nation one thing: Boston is full of a bunch of fucking pussies.
Boston Mayor: "AAAHHH. Don't let the lite-brites fuckin' get me." (read in the most annoying new england accent possible.)
Unfortunately the situation here in Boston grows less funny by the minute. Gov. Patrick's promise "vigilante" justice has indeed been brought to bear...on artists.
No doubt looking to save face, Boston officials arrested two artists yesterday on charges of inciting a panic, or, as the Globe more colorfully put it, for "plunging metropolitan Boston into a panic with illuminated advertisements for a cartoon."
Probably the first time THAT charge has been levied, no?
I've heard that Boston's mayor, Thomas Menino, went so far as to request that they be sentenced to 2 years for every display they put up.
Ahhh, freedom.
The two men are now out on bail, andhopefully warming up for the countersuit of a lifetime.
man, the mooninites must be proud as fuck that they were able to cause such a ruckus on our planet.
"wrap yourself around that rack of dvds. smoke while you are doing so."
"WAY TO GO MASSHOLES!"
hasn't anyone mentioned that this stuff was up in like...ten other cities? and only in boston did it seem to cause havoc...?
also
"“It is outrageous, in a post-9/11 world, that a company would use this type of marketing scheme,” Mr. Menino said in a statement. “I am prepared to take any and all legal action against Turner Broadcasting and its affiliates for any and all expenses incurred during the response to today’s incidents.”"
what are they going to be charged with? starting the riottttttt? ATHF or ATR!
The only thing I read indicated that they were being charged with inciting a panic.
This is really frustrating (and even moreso because it used to just be funny!) because our City-Fathers and state leaders are slowly but surely, one by one, revealing themselves to be either 1) complete morons; or 2) so completely adverse to the idea of owning up to, and taking the heat for, giant fuck-ups that they'd rather sound like complete morons than do that. Take this gem, for instance, from our Attorney General regarding the displays:
"It had a very sinister appearance," [Massachusetts Attorney General Martha] Coakley told reporters. "It had a battery behind it, and wires."
What? A battery? Wires? What the hell has happened to our leaders brains?
So far I haven't read anything in the newspapers that addresses the fact that nobody else blew a gasket about these displays. I don't think the Boston/Mass Brass are ready to admit that yet.
What's most disappointing to me is that the citizenry appears to have been struck by this stinging embarassment as well. Normally rational, intelligent people that I work with and go to school with and drink beers with are pretending like Boston's reaction was reasonable and, in fact, required. This while they're walking down the street past neon beer signs and iPods and any number of things with batteries and wires! Don't they realize they could ALL BE BOMBS?!?
We've gone retarded in the Northeast. Good luck to everyone else.
I am really getting tired of hearing the phrases "in a post-9/11 world" or "we are in wartime" as justification for ANYTHING.
Don't you know its wartime? drop your pants.
When it comes to the law at issue, apparently the statute requires them to have the intent to incite panic or cause harm. I get the feeling this almost got laughed out of the courtroom, because the judge told the prosecutor on the record that he failed to see any intent on the defendants part. Finally, reason has return to this bastion of homosexuality and potsmoking.
Maybe this has already been thrown out of court, but I was hearing a lot about a law against placing "hoax devices". That was what I heard they were being charged with, a max of 5 yrs or so.
Also the first thing the defendants said coming out of the courtroom was pretty excellent. "lets address what everyone wants to talk about - 70s hair styles"
totally bloated-
yeah, that's the law. but in order to get the five years, it needs to be shown that they meant to cause some sort of panic. otherwise they are looking a a misdemeanor, I believe.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home