what's an east coast tour without a stop in our nation's captial?
East Coast Tour overview:
(all open mics except for July 23rd)
Monday, July 18th, Grape Street Philly
July 19th, the Point, Bryn Mawr, PA
July 20th, Sarah Street Grill, Stroudsburg, PA
July 21st, ABC Brewing co, Harrisburg, PA
July 23rd, Galapagos' Art Space, Brooklyn, NY
July 24th, Sully's Pub, Hartford, CT
July 25th, Cousin Larry's Cafe, Danbury, CT
July 26th, The Burren, Somerville (Boston), MA
July 27th, Area Mokum, Newport, RI
July 28th, driving back to Oxford
If anyone has friends in any of these places, let them know about the show, or if you will happen to be in any of those places at those times I look forward to seeing you.
I don't expect any of those dates to change, unless I book some shows that I'll make some gas money from. If you (or a friend) has a place I can crash, I'd appreciate that very much.
Thanks and take care,
Mission Man
i demand that the bostonians among us document the show at the burren for our pleasure.
Labels: mission man
it is thursday, 5:08 pm and i am looking at the floor of the house where a man named "roscoe" is teaching me about you ladies' dirty insides.
let's hope the kids ain't watching.
Labels: congress
from
whitehouse.gov:
See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda. (Applause.)
-the prez, callin 'em like he see's 'em at a "social security conversation" in new york on tuesday
who is your congressional crush?:is it Congresswoman Virginia Foxx (R-North Carolina)? Living up to her name, this vixen sported this slinky barnyard sweater today as she argued against abortion rights for overseas servicewomen!
...or is it perhaps "the beauty with the bangs", Congresswoman Jo Ann Davis (R-Virginia)? when not attacking "baby-killers", she enjoys long walks on the beach, purple plants, and scowling at the troop-hating democrats!
Labels: congress
for those of you not following the pat tillman story...
Shortly after arriving in the mountains to fight, Tillman was killed in a barrage of gunfire from his own men, mistaken for the enemy as he got into position to defend them.
Immediately, the Army kept the soldiers on the ground quiet and told Tillman's family and the public that he was killed by enemy fire while storming a hill, barking orders to his fellow Rangers.
...the washington post had an extensive article on monday including interviews with the family, outraged that the circumstances of their son's death had been
falsified for political effect and were even used explicitly to re-elect the president:
That their son was famous opened up the situation to problems, the Tillmans say, in part because of the devastating public relations loss his death represented for the military. Mary Tillman says the government used her son for weeks after his death, perpetuating an untrue story to capitalize on his altruism -- just as the Abu Ghraib prison scandal was erupting publicly. She said she was particularly offended when President Bush offered a taped memorial message to Tillman at a Cardinals football game shortly before the presidential election last fall. She again felt as though her son was being used, something he never would have wanted.
"Every day is sort of emotional," Mary Tillman said. "It just keeps slapping me in the face. To find that he was killed in this debacle -- everything that could have gone wrong did -- it's so much harder to take. We should not have been subjected to all of this. This lie was to cover their image. I think there's a lot more yet that we don't even know, or they wouldn't still be covering their tails.
"If this is what happens when someone high profile dies, I can only imagine what happens with everyone else."
Dan, this is for you. One of my co-workers just sent me this list:
Here are the 10 first place winners in the 2005 International Pun Contest. 1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron" The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ... a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Hah!
i'm taking a directing class at
chicago filmmakers, a non-profit co-op in andersonville. the whole situation is interesting, because, unlike in the college setting, people here come from all walks of life and all classes. there are several folks from advertising, trying to get out of that fucking racket to do something creative; there's an elderly chinese lady who seems to only have taken the class so that she can direct her daughter and make her a
star; and then there is the obese black nurse, who wrote a script that she's directing which is all about interracial marriage. our professor,
john mossman, runs a theatre company in town, but mostly he was trained as an actor, guest-starring on shows like "models, inc." and
"j.a.g.".
today we auditioned actors for our scenes. mine is about two partnered lesbians who argue over breakfast about whether or not they are still able to effectively communicate as a couple. in the lead role, i cast a woman named elizabeth laidlaw, who has done everything an actor can do (besides larp out in the woods): film, tv,
voice work, commercials, theatre (she trained at the royal academy of dramatic art in london. in other words, shakespeare by people who know shakespeare). despite all that, though, she's probably known most for playing
xena: the warrior princess in a show called
"xena live", a gay and lesbian
fanfic play showing at about face theatre on halsted.
Labels: LARP
urgent cave message received from exiled socks clinton!:
blood good paint make
cave make red with
red like horse mouth
bleat as lamb bleat
fart make both sides
bleat as lamb bleat
see that horse girl
siren angel
socks eat bleu cheese
bought from wendy's
cheese sans conscience
lacking cave-meat
every horse has
face of jesus
socks ride jesus
to saloon
cave saloon dark
urchin wranglers
smell socks musky
golden pubis
Labels: ralphnsocks
in equally dire news...at long last the "bosses at the center of Chicago's wiener world" have taken steve martin's advice and
removed the superfluous buns.
victory is ours.
fine, have it your wayyou refuse to post and the cowboy will continue to inject political garbage into jackblog land. today's dandy treat: normy coleman, the republican minnesota senator to be challenged by al franken in 2006, called a subcommittee hearing investigating a british MP, George Galloway, for alleged complicity in the much-maligned UN oil-for-food scandal. he had previously called on kofi annan to step down as secretary general of the UN. if you aren't familiar with him, he is stupid and his wife
straps on slinky undies to raise money for the GOP.
i watched
galloway's testimony today on c-span and naturally he ripped coleman a new one. especially in light of the report released by senate dems last night that proved the bush administration
knew all about oil-for-food and didn't do shit about it (not to mention the
downing street memo which confirms if there was ever a doubt that ol' georgie knew full well he was donging us over prior to the war).
now: start posting stupid crap you lousy excuses for jackbloggerz. or you get more of this. ever more.
Labels: congress
5,133 u.s. troops in iraq have gone awol so far, but don't let anyone tell you morale ain't huge. naturally one finds this information via foreign news. because right now cnn is giving a stirring expose on the jackson trial followed by the release of the breathtaking xbox 360.
Labels: iraq
poor mr.
fristy.
Labels: congress
Hello a-Lords and Ladies,
I'm sitting here on the tail end of a 10pm-10am shift at the library (must keep the doors open 24 hours a day for these industrious little wunderkind during finals week) so the entertainment is coming where it can. My most recent wellspring is spam. So I hope you're ready to see some of what I'm laughing at.
I don't know if anyone pays attention to the spam they get, but if you do, you might have noticed this new, and oftentimes hilarious, trend of the sender's name being constructed of two unrelated words connected by a middle initial. I have found this to be of nearly inestimable, and indefatigable comedic value. I present to you now some of the finest I have received (for the sake of your ensuring laughter, do try to think of these as names belonging to real people--your friends, family, loved ones and attorneys):
-Remotest C. Lustrous
-Duckbill B. Muskellunge (a muskellunge is the largest member of the Pike family of fish, in case you're curious.)
-Intricately C. Shrimps
-Stunk G. Fickleness
-Manipulative A. Cellphones
-Australopithecus G. Prologue
-Judges H. Salamanders
-Procuring M. Ripped
and the winner (by more than a little):
-Smelliest T. Germicides
I can assure you none of these are fabricated (except, of course, by some randomness generator somewhere.) They are the names that spambots think will reel me in.
I hope you're as susceptible to funny as I am at this moment.
Sincerely,
Intricately C. Shrimps
Labels: spam
"search your peelings,
cuke;
you know it to be true."
who's hot? take a look from this search poll:
i'm starting to get tired of being
forced down five flights of stairs by capitol police screaming about "aerial threats" and "one minute to impact".
i need to be paid more for this shit.
Labels: congress
and more mail art... this time courtesy of little gordie. see ralph & socks for content.
Labels: ralphnsocks
as
bob harris pointed out, the "national id card just got rammed through when you weren't looking." here's how they did it: attached it to a bill for "emergency military aid" (i.e. armor for hummers in iraq, tsunami relief, etc.) what does it mean? cnet's straightforward report
says "only id cards approved by homeland security can be accepted 'for any official purpose'".
as you might imagine, the editors at the national review are
all about it, since it might potentially help keep some brown people out of the country, whatever the cost.
Labels: congress
searches that lead you to the jackblog part II:
(and again, i am not genius enough to make this up)
1 3 15.00% jackblog
2 2 10.00% jackbarn
3 2 10.00% peanut guy
4 2 10.00% ralph socks
5 1 5.00% albino flounder
6 1 5.00% androgynous voices
7 1 5.00% chapped anus
8 1 5.00% history of socks
9 1 5.00% lickety jackblog
10 1 5.00% naughtyland
11 1 5.00% sicilian scrotum
12 1 5.00% tabasco genitals
13 1 5.00% the peanut guy
14 1 5.00% ways to ask a guy to prom
15 1 5.00% why am i dateless
Labels: ralphnsocks
Sarge: As though he were responding to our conversation, LA Times reporter Ken Silverstein has this to say about the United States's relationship with Sudan (there is still good journalism out there):
Official Pariah Sudan Valuable to America's War on Terrorism"As recently as September, then-Secretary of State Colin L. Powell accused Sudan of committing genocide in putting down an armed rebellion in the western province of Darfur. And the administration warned that the African country's conduct posed 'an extraordinary threat to the national security' of the United States.
"Sudan has 'given us specific information that is … important, functional and current,' said a senior State Department official who agreed to discuss intelligence matters on condition of anonymity. The official acknowledged that the Mukhabarat could become a 'top tier' partner of the CIA.
"In exchange for the collaboration, which has been largely unpublicized, Khartoum wants to be removed from the list of state sponsors of terrorism. It is also pressing Washington to lift long-standing economic sanctions barring most trade between the two countries."
is that you todd?
i don't know how many of you are on the Western listserv still but I am. and if you aren't you miss little gems like these. apparently burt is writing a 12oo page manuscript of important people during the Carter administration. let me repeat: 1200. i wonder if anyone has told him that obscenely long books on historical figures no one really gives a shit about only works for David McCullough. i just can't wait for the book-on-tape read by him.
