Hide your secret microforms.I have every reason to believe that the Jackblog's close friend and associate "Seth" is leading a secret life on the mysterious and exotic isle of Formosa. How can I possibly support this claim? I offer only this account, obtained from a top secret "Mailbag" article on MLB.com:
I am proud to say that I am maybe the only Reds fans in Taiwan and have been for more than 15 years. My question is, why not trade Ken Griffey Jr. to the Yankees, who need an outfielder, for Chien-Ming Wang, the pitcher from Taiwan?
-- Jimmy W., Taiwan
Who is this "Jimmy W."?? Where does he come from? What secrets does he possess? Note the Wienerian "W" given as a last initial. Note, also, the absurd optimism with which he details an improbable trade that the inept Cincinnati Reds Management couldn't pull off with a bag full of rufies and a magic lamp. I ask you only this: Why? Why has our little lamb gone astray? And what doom does this portend?
Labels: redlegs
Something to shoot for:
Yahtzee!
our long national nightmare is overwelcome to the jackblog's new temporary home. change thy links. in the meantime, enjoy once again this last correspondence from our friends at IXwebhosting, the hatred of whom is now mandatory for all jackblog posterz:
Ticket Status was changed from Open to Resolved
Respected Michael.
I honestly apologize for all the inconvenience that you have been
experiencing due to this issue. I have gone through all your previous
interactions with us.I do understand that it is really frustrating to know
that the issue ,which is reported much earlier is still persisting.Please
be assured that we always put our best efforts to meet the satisfaction
of our esteemed customers. We value your business with us and we strive
hard to live up to the standards of your expectation from us. The issue
with the blogger is investigated by our admin department for more than
10 times and still they are working on it to find out if there is any
loop hole at our end. However even after keen observation into all the
factors that could influence this issue ,we did not find any error from
our end.We contacted blogger team and reported them the issue and we
are awaiting for the fix at their end. Please be informed that there we
have also assigned a dedicated team to work on this and they!
are constantly at the back of the bloggers team to find the fix for
this issue. unfortunately the issue is yet to be sorted out completly.
We would definetly update you with the resolution as soon as it is
fixed from the blogger end. We expect your patience and your understanding.
We do appreciate your extended co-operation with us.
Thanking you
Rajesh
Technical support
BENGALS CLINCH AFC NORTH. WHO FUCKING DEY, BIATCHES!
-St. Marvin of Lewis
p.s. Palmer 30 TDs=Franchise record. And counting...
Labels: bengals
so, it's kind of fun to google people and i just discovered google video search. this is what i found:
"Loverboy 1: Snavely meets the Eggirl" finds our dastardly villian Snavely threatening our lovely Eggirl in order to trick her into allowing him to penetrate her shell.
Snavely meets the EggirlLabels: doppelgangers
Here's
this.Watch and then move to California
You'll need quicktime.
Labels: california
my
contribution to roger ebert's movie glossary.
Labels: film
It's about time the Redlegs dealt a fatty that hits into 97 double plays. The Mayor, or "fellabound" as I call him has been on my shit list ever since I sat through a rainy ass whooping by the Cardinals. He went 0-fer and stranded a few dudes, and that's when I realized that he sleeps on a snack spread and snorts bologna when he's not hitting into an ass load of double plays.
But Dave Williams? Who the fuck is Dave Williams? At least trade up for a Chevy Tahoe and the skull of Bobby Bonilla. Either way, Reds vs. Bengals SuperWorldBowlSeries in '06. Who-dey.
Labels: bengals, redlegs
reds
trade casey to the fucking pirates. i know they're hurting for pitching but that's fucking lame.
Labels: redlegs
some links for when yr bored at work:
* i can't wait to fuck a dude to
this shit* speaking of fucking dudes, check out the glory of
the gayest tattoo ever* another in a line of ultimate zings -- this one from
fidel castro (you can thank china seth for that one)
* a fucking
blast from the past for real
* wes anderson just did some tv ads for
dasani* andrew martin
getting silly on a skate message board (his nickname is jordan sweet hair)
* wow. someone totally just hit a parked car directly outside of my house. weird.
This one's for you, Cowboy:
"Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng, best known for his Iron Crotch, attached himself not once, but twice, to a rental moving truck and pulled it several yards across a parking lot in Fremont..."-From the
Tri-Valley HeraldLabels: crotches
My Crazy Life BlowsThis Friday is the firm Holiday party*. Free booze from 2 to 7pm, a firm "talent show," dancing, and a chocolate fountain as centerpiece. All at the Park West, where Capone used to get his grease on.
However, just in case any of us employees had gotten any crazy ideas about acting like adults this Friday, I just received this at the bottom of the most recent firmwide email:
Tip #5: Office Party
Dilemma: There's going to be a DJ at our annual office party. Do I dance with my boss or not? What kind of dancing is appropriate?
Solution: "Absolutely, you can dance with your boss," says business image and etiquette consultant Jill Bremer, owner of Bremer Communications in Oak Park. But be very, very careful about it. Leave the bump and grind at the clubs. "You still want to maintain a little bit of space between you." And what if your boss asks you to dance and you don't want to? "You want to help the person save face," Bremer says. So make up an excuse. "Bad shoes or something like that. Just try to do it politely." And don't forget the cardinal rule of office party etiquette: "Don't get drunk, because you don't want to be next week's hot topic. You will be talked about for years. People have long memories."
*It is pertinent to note that at last year's party several of my coworkers told me that many secretaries literally wait all year for this thing. Apparently it is their one chance to land one of the many high-paid attorneys in attendance. I left early last year, but I can attest to the lurid nature of this bacchanal.
comments?i've been thinking about switching over to the blogger-sponsored comments feature. the pros would be that comments would directly link from archived stuff also - right now you have to go to the haloscan page to see the archived comments independent of the entry to which they refer. that don't make much sense.
we could also make it so you'd have to be a blogger member to post if the anonymous postings are gettin' under the skin of the jackbarn krüe. any thoughts?
This was down for a few months, but thank the christ lord it's back up:
http://www.tourettesguy.com Boo-ya.
lest we forgetthe lovely visage of our
jackblog sports correspondent.
All I Want for Christmas...A coworker of mine was just showing me an astrology website that suggests gift ideas for people based on their sign. So I just thought I'd post mine here so that y'all could start to think about what you're getting me for Christmas. According to astrologyzone.com:
"The Aries man is quite a cowboy--brave, tough when he needs to be, and true pioneer--so get him a pair of nifty good quality cowboy boots or a western belt. This sign rules the head, so your Aries man might like a gift certificate in a fine men's hat store too."
So there you have it. Make for the nearest western-themed haberdashery and give me the gift that the stars themselves have chosen.
