lickety jackblog

Hey. What's a good name for a green dragon?

posted by lonesomeswishdog @ 7:13 PM 0 Comments

"Friday night football--the lights shine, the speakers blare, and the field rumbles. There on the stadium side, seems to be the entire hometown; we site there and wait for our beloved Golden Aces to appear from behind the woods. We wait for our team to charge onto the sod and add to its glory. The end of the game brings the dreaded trudge back up the stadium steps, before heading to Taco Tierra for a famous Taco drink. After that, the party rages at 5th Quarter as we wait for our football friends to arrive before turning in for the night.
Saturday morning's dew dries to reveal the splendor of autumn's color. I spend the morning helping Dad with errands uptown, or in the barber shop listening to The Coach's Show on the radio. Grandma comes, and our ritual lunch at McDonald's precedes my afternoon of mowing. Saturday night is purely random: join the tailgaters at Taco, join a cookout on the river, or, if I am really lucky, join the girl next door for a night out.
I spend Sunday morning in God's Word, followed by lunch at Tequila's. The afternoon is for washing my truck or relaxing on the golf course. Youth groups starts at 6pm, followed by an hour of intense doge ball. Back home by ten, I rush through unfinished homework and pluck around on my guitar. Finally I collapse into my bed, looking forward to next Friday all over again.
This is how I spend my free time, how I have fun. This is how life goes here in the Midwest. This is the heartland, where the blacktop ends and the black soil begins. This is where Corn Day is the favorite holiday. This is where the quarterback dates the farmer's daughter. This is the life Kenny Chesney sings about. This is where all that happens. This is where my roots come from, and this is lifestyle is what I am most proud of."

Labels: LARP

posted by the cold cowboy @ 10:01 AM 0 Comments

the better game: tecmo bowl or super tecmo bowl?

seriously folks. while 'super tecmo bowl' had all the fancy gadgets and shiny new look of 'the future of football' i think we can all agree that tecmo is a far superior game. right? who can forget the amazing walter payton or the homoerotic seattle seahawks and their color of choice - pink?

posted by sean @ 9:25 AM 0 Comments

ok, who's vacationing in the lovely o-ville this week? and of course by that i mean, who's going to townie night with the cold fucking cowboy!?!?!?!?

posted by the cold cowboy @ 9:34 AM 0 Comments

And now, some nostalgia.

"....eight ball rollin' by"
"....east side, west side, which ones best?"
"...2pac don't know shit"
"...sumida river"

posted by sean @ 1:21 AM 0 Comments

Dudes,

For those inclined to oversimplify or underestimate the complexity of what is going on in Iraq right now, this is a sweet, sharp article from a freelance writer who spent a year with the Iraqi resistance. It's a bit long, but everyone should read it.

From Harper's Magazine: Beyond Fallujah.

Labels: iraq

posted by Little Gordie @ 1:19 PM 0 Comments

check out this shit about Vin Diesel's new movie. hilarious.

http://movies.yahoo.com/movies/feature/thepacifier.html

Labels: film

posted by ayatollah assahola @ 1:51 PM 0 Comments

Wu-Tang is for the children.

Yeah. Ol' Dirty is dead. No more Dirt McGirt. I'm sure its not a surprise to anyone. but here is a link to it on yahoo news which is really weird. the fact that this is even news is weird.

posted by sean @ 10:17 PM 0 Comments

the great war between the monkey families has begun. which monkey family will win? will it be the rhombus? or the roughhousing gang?

posted by the cold cowboy @ 5:00 PM 0 Comments

Surely no one on the Jackblog would find this interesting, since none of you has any interest in the nerd-exclusive culture of RPGs (role-playing games), but Laura Scudiere's fiance, Rob Mentzer (who some of you might know), recently had a short story published in the Berkeley Review. The story, entitled "The Leather Coat," is about a young man very much involved in such a subculture, and whose workaday life is ostensibly as an undercover normal.

At the risk of discouraging your curiosity even further, the main character in the story, a Mr. Metalhead Eddie, is obsessed with his favorite multi-zippered, black leather jacket, a constant reflection of his commitment to his own social ostracism.

Allow me to quote a passage or two for you:

"I am the comic-book nerd of popular stereotype: large and soft around the middle, dressed in a multi-zippered leather jacket with wild red hair and thick glasses, an avid gamer, a collector of all manner of pop detritus, a heavy metal fan, a Trekker, a man immersed in the massive universes of sci-fi and fantasy."

"I hear them say it under their breath when I walk into B. Dalton Bookseller in Eastwoods Mall: here comes Metalhead Eddie."

"My leather coat gives me powers as surely as my D&D character Tennaguar's invisibility cloak or his beast-claws spell."

Not that a single one of you would be interested in reading such a yarn, but here it is: Metal Head Eddie.

Labels: nerdcore

posted by Little Gordie @ 5:56 PM 0 Comments

"The difference between the revolutionary and the terrorist lies in the reason for which each fights. Whoever stands by a just cause and fights for liberation from invaders and colonialists cannot be called terrorist. Those who wage war to occupy, colonize and oppress other people are the terrorists....The Palestinian people had to resort to armed struggle when they lost faith in the international community, which ignored their rights, and when it became clear that not one inch of Palestine could be regained through exclusively political means.... I have come bearing an olive branch and a freedom fighter's gun. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand."

--Yasir Arafat

posted by ayatollah assahola @ 10:35 AM 0 Comments

Dudes! I've got an interview in fifteen minutes with the Devil himself (and his 1200 international attorneys)! If I get it I'll be making twice as much money as I was in my last job, but I will have sold my soul!

What do I do!?

I'll be working for these dudes.

posted by Little Gordie @ 2:28 PM 0 Comments

A VERY JACKBARN NEW YEARZ
12.31.04 washington dc
attendance mandatory.

posted by the cold cowboy @ 1:15 PM 0 Comments

election talk, con't...

why you should be optimistic:

i think the moral of this story is that since clinton, the democrats have devolved into a large corps of pouting weenies with no (to use the word of the week) 'moral' core to speak of. they are the guys who are against bush. and while that may be enough to garner most of the jackbloggers' votes, liberals have always overestimated the extent to which most americans pay attention to what is going on in their country. to the millions who never watch the news (except for a certain day in september 3 years past), they knew that they liked the swagger and plainspokenness of the guy from texas. if they tuned in to hear the lurchesque noreaster before the election, chances are they just heard him talking about how wrong the president was. this was, in essence, his platform. and the majority of our brethren, who don't pay attention, need a little bit more than 'i'm not the other guy'. and who can blame them?

when it came down to it, the prospect of newlywed dandies coming to take our guns away and removing 'god' from the pledge was far more frightening than, say, the prospect of drafts and multiplying wars and loss of civil liberties and religion in government and wacko judges and privatizing social security and an exponentially rising gap between rich and poor and an ever diminishing circle of allies and more difficulties travelling abroad and lower real wages and the list goes on. kerry's advisers were the old guard and they have failed. bob shrum is the classic example: a gentleman who ran over four democratic presidential campaigns and failed each time was the best candidate for the job apparently. boo!

and herein lies the real problem: the democratic leadership is chock-full-o-dumbshits. it doesn't take a genius to make those possibilities real to people. they affect people far more than jane and stacey getting hitched in martha's vineyard. but unless somebody says it, message ain't gonna get to my aunts and uncles and cousins in malvern arkansas, who are struggling to find jobs and are reliant on social security and medicaid, and hate the war and see the rich getting richer while they stay poor but also don't really get those gays and have guns and use guns and don't appreciate yanks telling them what they should and shouldn't do with them. which brings us to the uplifting part:

in 1964, johnson beat goldwater handily in one of the largest electoral massacres in history. the republicans imploded and were forced to regroup and reevaluate their platform and their strategy. meanwhile, the democrats got cocky. then? nixon, ford, their knight in shining armor sir ronald, and during the 90s they decimated democratic control of the house and senate.

the republicans will get cocky. they will overstep their bogus 'mandate'. the democratic leadership will be replaced. a reevaluation of strategy must and will occur. and it's about goddamned time. i don't know any discerning person who is really pumped up about the democrats or their platform. but maybe, soon, we can at least be satisfied that the democrats have grown some hairy genitals to replace the small and crooked makeshift strap-on that has been rotting for decades on the putrid crotch of modern democracy. good night!

posted by the cold cowboy @ 10:26 AM 0 Comments

Fuck

Well, when does the dig start? Cause lord knows we'll need a giant hole to hide in when the apocolypse comes.

I blame Boston, we all got distracted and focused our positive energy towards them- Damn it!

Hey Cowboy, tell me that you know some insider news, that there was a fuck up somewhere or that something way illegal happened and that this just isn't true.

posted by skirt @ 2:06 PM 0 Comments

halloween pictures! - duncan and i mostly. snavely is out serving his country, god bless his heart.

posted by erock @ 6:12 PM 0 Comments

tomorrow, if the Great Satan wins, I encourage you all to take a stand for democracy, call your representatives and senators and request one thing:

an order for secession.

its really time for another civil war. I mean, c'mon, who the fuck needs Delaware?

posted by ayatollah assahola @ 11:31 PM 0 Comments