lickety jackblog

so, i got this really good joke about kentucky. it's nearly impossible to solve a murder in ky because DNA testing makes everyone a suspect, and dental records are useless. zing!

posted by lonesomeswishdog @ 9:25 PM 0 Comments

"Duh! I can see into the fucking FUTURE - that's why!"

meet Louis Stephen Carrozzi IX, aka the MESSIAH. i have had the pleasure of reading His spam email gospels for some time. some glorious excerpts from His mailbag to come.

believe.

Labels: spam

posted by the cold cowboy @ 1:51 PM 0 Comments

sometimes you just gotta google some hock

kevin hock's gloria estefan discography site.

you might also be interested in the shout out received by mr. hock at this german site (scroll down). rough translation: "Kevin Hock makes an insane effort to record every release by this babe [gloria estefan]. Not all -- but almost. On the matter of bootlegs, he carries the mantle of silence."

profound indeed.

posted by the cold cowboy @ 5:09 PM 0 Comments

"please, I've had enough of the Celine vs. Mariah debate as anyone else!"

ah, kevin. spin me another yarn.

posted by the cold cowboy @ 5:03 PM 0 Comments

More news from Athens:

The U.S. men's "Dream Team"(I'm trying hard not to choke on those words), has been shooting 16% from the field. That's the worst among any, and I mean any team(including women), playing in these Olympics. Hoorah!

Back to those uber atheletes, the Chinese table tennisers. They've won gold, of course. But, that doesn't quite cover it. Apparently, they've won every Olympic medal ever contested in table tennis. What? I hope the IOC anti-doping committee hasn't been ignoring all the pseudo-sports. I'd hate to hear that the Chinese have been tooting Adderall before matches.

posted by lonesomeswishdog @ 10:38 PM 0 Comments

FYI - greg and mike have updated their epic bike adventure website to include a photo album.

update:
the photo at left should link to my album of the trip.

posted by erock @ 4:59 PM 0 Comments

i don't know about everyone else, but i've been watching the olympics. lots of olympics. and i'm not paying attention to all the boring crap like gymnastics and beach volleyball. thanks to the media empire that is NBC, and the blessing of cable television, i get to see all the good stuff. since some of you out there in the jackbarn stables are too 'poor' for cable, or too 'intelligent' to dull your minds w/bright lights and loud noises, or you have a 'job' that cuts into your viewing time, i'll fill you in on all the most important highlights from athens.

today, i witnessed the intense gold medal mixed doubles badminton match between a strong british team and the reigning olympic chinese team. the competition was so fierce, emotions ran so high, the tension was so thick that even the commentators were pushed to their limits. in a moment of terrible confusion, one of the commentators compared this badminton final to a "steel cage match". i don't know what kind of steel cage matches that guy watches, but unless they involve two eight year old girls tickling each other into submition with ostrich feathers, i think the adrenaline (or whiskey) went to his head. anyway, the chinese won. they win pretty much every sport involving a paddle or racket, except tennis. any thoughts on that?

that's all i got for now.

posted by lonesomeswishdog @ 10:44 PM 0 Comments

so....ummmm....
what's going on, jackbarn?

There's a barn that's full of jack
And lined with rawhide skins.
Where all the children issue forth
And beg to be let in!

But oh so quiet it's become
It's rafters shed a tear.
For where have all the children gone?
They only just were here...

Jackbarn jackbarn thine ears are huge!
Thine eyes are bloodshot red!
Thou lookest like a rabbit, fair
Thou lookest like a shed!

Don't close your doors, don't sell the skins,
Don't shut the hayride down!
Don't tell the squaredance lords and gals
To head back into town!

The barn is festive, bright and grand
But where are all the cows?
They're grazing, darlin', right out back!
So bring them back right now!

I'm lonely in the silent barn,
I want to dance a dance!
So let's bring all the beasts and dudes
On back to hop and prance!


So there it is. the most horrific Thursday afternoon poetry ever.

doesn't anyone have any exciting news?

I mean, I don't. but somebody should.

posted by dan @ 4:43 PM 0 Comments

for all of you mckee hall soul caliber nelly fans...

posted by the cold cowboy @ 3:54 PM 0 Comments

woohoo! Kansas is kicking my butt!
and the bike bums are merciless road warriors.
today they ride naked.

posted by erock @ 4:12 PM 0 Comments

thoughts on nomar as a cubbie now...?

posted by candycanesammy @ 6:30 AM 0 Comments